I don't know why I am here.blogging where I should be studying for exams..

yeah right, study..screw exams

Sometimes I really wish I wouldn't have let go some things..and I'm most likely to benefit from it now..it is not anything to be sad about or anything, nevertheless I felt left out..as though I don't stand a chance to understand..and I wouldn't stand a chance to do so..unless I'm really lucky that I'm able to brush up, which is the hardest thing for me to do right now..Sometimes I really hope to be able to understand the meanings behind those lines..I've tried but to no avail, I do not see myself able to share the burdens , share the thoughts and feelings..hence I end up feeling helpless..I can't help feeling helpless..why..why must it significantly be a burden to me? I'm still trying hard..I hope one day, it would not be a barrier ..I hope I would be confident enough to destroy the barrier..

All I can understand now are those simple written words that hardly serves the true meaning of the entire desired message put forth. Sometimes I wonder if I'm causing pain or perhaps unhappiness. and even troublesome to a certain extent where I don't think I deserve anything at all..So this conclude that I'm plain selfish....I pray that I'm only thinking too much..

Once again, screw exams..T_T

...........

People say bad things come after another...

horrible news happened in the U.S, specifically in Virgina Tech where nearly 25 students were murdered.

horrible grades for LSM1401-biochem, which I spent days doing

even horrible news when a friend of mine was judged unfairly for his grades..i was speechless

Sigh..

I wish I'm able to filter out mood swings due to studies..yet that's the hardest thing I can do..

Nothing seems to work as reality sets in..how can you expect to do better when your marks are practically down the drain, say , 40/60 for the time being? with finals ammounting to the other 40%, how much can you expect to get ? What more if it's an open book exam? Yah right, for ur info, open book exams are better off not opening ur books bcos there will be basically nothing you can find in ur books..trust me..

So, this says it all that once again, my hopes for obtaining better results will go futile ..

Screw exams..my econs is not getting any better..It seems like the more you study, the higher chance you get mistakes..and nothing is going into my head..

Darn..not that I want it to be this way..

some people can just try their best and with their best, they gain what they deserve to get

but for some other people, after all they've tried..they gain maybe a lil more better but overall is constant = meaning trying their best equals not doing much..which is just waste of time going the 'extra' mile..

I'm not expecting anything..

The worse thing I hear now is that some people may get a 'B' and frown over such grades in NUS.

Some people may get 6/10, average perhaps 5, and say he/she will be failing.

Yah, it is indeed true that some will set high expectations and expecting full perfect grades

WTH

ok, I've no problem with that, just pls don't mention it in front of me

piss off..

ciao~

 Sekian lama dah aku tidak memblog.

Memang benar ini berpunca dari masa yang perlu dibahagikan kepada buku-buku saya

Demi mendapat gred yang sederhana dalam Tahun pertama kursus Farmasi ini yang begitu menyeksakan.

Aku tidak mengharapkan apa-apa. Hanya moga tidak menyesal belajar setiap pagi sampai malam

Duduk atas kerusi yang sama setiap hari sampai tulang belakang hampir patah

Namun saya tiada pilihan..jikalau mahu terus tinggal di Singapura, aku perlu menjadi seperti yang lain,

perlu terus menjadi kompetitif tidak kira betapa susahnya kehidupan sebegini..

Saya tidak tahu betapa susahnya menulis blog dalam Bahasa Melayu sampai kini..sudah sekian lama aku tidak  menulis, bertutur serta membaca dalam BM. Blog ini membuktikan kesan katara akibat penyisihan BM selama 3 tahun, menunjukkan kemerosotan bahasa saya dalam segi kefasihan yang masih ada semasa dalam sekolah menengah. Aduhai, kini bukan saya BM saya semakin merosot, bahasa Inggeris saya juga tidak sebaik manapun, apatah lagi Bahasa Cina saya yang semakin hari semakin penting dalam dunia global ini.

Entah mengapa tiba-tiba saya berasa seolah-olah sedang bermimpi. Dalam beberapa tahun yang tidak pernah saya belajar tentang Ekonomi, kini saya dipaksa belajar dua module ekonomi dalam masa 4 bulan!! Ini memang gila..tapi apatah daya saya? Tidak, saya perlu positif..perlu beritahu naluri dalam diri bahawa ini demi kebaikan diri..menimba ilmu pengetahuan am adalah sesuatu yang berguna..

Cis, amat seksa memblog dalam BM..

tak peduli lah

nak pergi ni..

semoga berjaya dalam peperiksaan ~ =)

My heart is sinking..

It feels heavy..

And it goes on every night..

There's nothing to mourn about..

Perhaps it's just loneliness..

So now I need 'noise' around me?

Yes I do..

In dire need of clamourous human chatter

and not the wheezy sound of the fan

nor the cacophonous sound of insects at night

argh.......I wanna S-C-R-E-A-M!!!!